a fact is a fact

You know how people sometimes count their blessings? Or how others try to cheer you up when a problem suddenly sneaks up on you? I mean, listen to yourself or to them. They'll start off by giving a litany of condescending remarks against other people and will try to berate them just to make you feel OK.

At least ikaw may bubong ka pa sa ulo mo, yung iba wala. At least ikaw nakakakain ka pa yung iba diyan kahig-tuka. Marami ka pang kailangang ipagpasalamat. Or something to that line.

That is true. Let's not take away the wealth that we still have in our hands. Simply put, we are still blessed.

Months into discovering my condition, I used to take on with that attitude. I tried to count my blessings—which the famous Christmas song advises—compare myself, re-adjust my life view, get on with the brighter side of life and give myself a tap at the back. Yeah, I still have the comforts of technology, a roof above my head, and meals three times a day compared with many downtrodden, besmirched Filipinos who live below poverty line.

All that until this:

"I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won't tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn't change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have." — The Perks of Being A Wallflower

Despite others clawing their way through life and I, well yes, am still blessed, "that doesn’t really change the fact that" I have HIV.

Period.

Pardon for leaving you in such a gloomy note, I just have to take this monster out of my system before retiring for the night.